Monday, October 6, 2014

Blowing my own trumpet

I recently achieved something pretty rad and I haven't really congratulated myself on it or celebrated it.  No, I didn't perform successful open heart surgery, no I didn't win a Nobel prize but I think it's important that we rejoice in our own small victories.
So here goes, fanfares please -

I stopped biting my nails.

I have bitten my nails since I was little and instead of it being something I did as a child and grew out of, it actually got worse and worse for me as I got older.  I remember a time before I bit my nails, and I know that when all my peers had stopped as we grew up, I was still going and in a pretty major way.  I've manage to stop for maybe a month about three times before but that's all I've ever managed.
In my first semester at AMDA my super rad acting teacher the mighty Jim Elliott pointed it out to me and he would call me out any time that he saw me chomping on my nails in class.  The key thing that he said was 'you should look into why that is' and that really rang with me.  I made a concentrated effort to stop and had people on nail biting watch...that was one of the more effective times I gave up. Regrettably AMDA life and the stress it brought led me right back to those yummy yummy nails. Egads.
BUT, what Jim said to me never went away so about two months ago I suppose I just thought about it again, took it really seriously and just...stopped.  I definitely think my nail biting has been linked always to things like stress and anxiety and it became a nervous habit - I certainly have always caught myself gnawing away to the worst degree in particular situations, like if I'm on the train on the way to an audition or in an uncomfortable encounter.  Not to say the anxiety has gone away but somehow this time by really making a decision to disconnect my habit from my nerves, I have stopped.  Just like that.
It probably sounds really silly to a lot of people out there but everyone has bad habits, think of one you've had for as long as you can remember and imagine stopping...tadaa


Congratulations to me!



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