Well, my career as an Apple product user was short lived - the iPhone is broken. Not beyond repair, it's just that the little slot where the sim card goes is busted so I cannot put my sim card in it any more (I took the sim out yesterday and put it in my old phone because the iPhone ran out of battery and I was trying to schedule babysitting so didn't have time to wait for it to charge)
So it is a perfectly functioning phone...with no sim card rendering it useless. I went to the Apple store today to try and get it fixed and the techie guy there that I talked to could not grasp the problem at all and merely suggested I try another Apple store. Ironically the section of the store where you go to get your things repaired is called the Genius Bar. Based on that man's advice I wish them to rename it the Thank You Captain Obvious Bar.